The WWE Diva’s Championship is going to be crowned very soon and I felt like it’s a good opportunity to look through the female rosters of all 3 brands and see which ones deserve a run at a Diva or Women’s championship…ever.

RAW:

Mickie James: Well, she is champion right now and has been in the past. She’s hot. She has decent mat skills. She’s hot. She’s very popular with the crowd as she’s probably the most recognizable active female wrestler on the planet…plus she’s freaking hot. I’ve had a crush on Alexis Laree since she was doing crazy hardcore shit in the indies and that crush lasted all the way to the peak of the female mountain. STAY

Beth Phoenix: Her looks are underrated too. Sure, she has a chin sharp enough to slice cheese but her body is proportional and she’s really good looking outside of her wrestling gear. Plus, she’s the most talented women wrestler on RAW, which helps. STAY

Jillian Hall: The only way I’d ever like John Cena as a wrestler if he walked up to Jillian Hall while she’s singing and stuck her microphone up her ass. Her flatulence has better pitch. Anyways, she’s tolerable in the ring, has a few great moves for a female wrestler: cartwheel elbow in the turnbuckle, 450 splash, and knows how to work. sadly…she must STAY.

Melina: I love Hispanics. I love crazy ass Latinas who are flexible, who scream loud and will try to kick your ass on a moment’s notice. For that love alone, I want to say a kind couple words to the guy who dated her: “Fuck you, Johnny Nitro.” She’s good in the ring and has improved greatly since she debuted. She also is really good at the face/heel element and knows how to get a reaction from both. STAY.

Candice Michelle: Injury-prone is obvious when you’re about 91 pounds in Lake Michigan but this is my hometown girl. I can’t deny her desire to improve in the ring, stay in shape, and subject herself to that shitty ass dance music she comes out to. I know her taste can’t be that bad enough to pick it. STAY

Kelly Kelly: Blonds are overrated. With that said, I’d smash Kelly Kelly’s chicken legs right off. The only problem is she’s awkward in the ring and isn’t improving fast enough to really merit her place on the roster. GO AWAY on winning gold, STAY with walking

Katie Lea Burchill: She’s a newcomer and has good sex appeal as well as a nice little snarkiness about her. I’ve heard that she’s pretty good from the Indy circuits but the adjustment to a more constricted WWE-style of wrestling is hard. I think she’ll get less green after some development but right now, it’s sadly GO AWAY.

Layla El: She’s similar to Kelly Kelly in terms of wrestling ability and hotness. Her ass does pwn all though. With that said, her potential is way above Kelly’s for one reason: her heel tendencies. There is a certain mannerism that she has in the ring that is very heel-like in its nature. That’s unusual for such a new wrestler and it seems natural. That’s something I see. For right now, it’s GO AWAY on the title, but, in time, she may be able to.

SMACKDOWN

Michelle McCool: Meh. She’s unbelievably generic to me. She’s cute, yes. She’s a good wrestler and has incorporated MMA into her move-set. (Thanks, Mark) She just is meh. She doesn’t make me go wild when she comes on the screen like Melina and Mickie does. It’s because she’s completely overshadowed by her heel counterparts, who I will get to shortly. That’s too bad. She does deserve a chance at the Diva championship based on skill alone so STAY.

Nattie Neidhart: She’s hot. She’s from a wrestling family. She’s easily the best natural diva worker on Smackdown (She flows better than Victoria, even though she’s not quite as accomplished in the WWE style yet). She’s got a catchphrase, an evil laugh, a great promo, good charisma, and can carry. She needs a long title run. Now. STAY!!

Victoria: Victoria was never the “flashy” diva. She’s cute but not drop-dead gorgeous in the likes of Maria or Kelly Kelly. However, she is not only a better wrestler than all of the women in the WWE and most of the women on TNA, but she’s also better than many of the men currently wrestling in sports entertainment. Her attention to detail is scarily rich. If you listen to her during her match, she will pull out nicknames and shout insults that really let you know that she pays attention to the business. She’s also accomplished in the ring. She needs to go to RAW and fight for the Women’s championship. STAY!

Maria: The only thing going for Maria is her hotness. That’s about it. She’s just not that good in the ring. She’s simply there for the viewing pleasure of me and most of the other 18-34 male demographic. GO AWAY!

Maryse: GO AWAY!! You look good but you are awkward and shitty in the ring. Go back to France.

Cherry: My favorite female wrestler. She’s solid in the ring once she’s with someone she doesn’t have to carry (looking at you, French bitch). She’s got a likable energy about her. She’s not a prototypical Diva wrestler and I think that appeals to fans who want something different. She also plays the face in peril nearly perfectly. I honestly think that in time, she’d be a good underdog Diva’s champion. STAY!

Eve Torres: Stick to talking and shaking your butt. GO AWAY!!

ECW

Lena Yada: Who? Oh the Asian chick on ECW . Meh. She’s better off as an announcer. GO AWAY.

So, there you have it. I believe that 10 current Diva wrestlers have the ability to become champion in the foreseeable future and I think that’s pretty strong for a division that usually gets no feuds, random ass title shots and diva tag matches and silly promos. I think the WWE is finally caring about the division and it’s exciting.

Picture Gallery:

Maybe the French aren’t so bad…

All pictures copyrighted by their respective photographers and clients

(This is for any wrestling fan who knows 1 or more people who love to point how “fake” wrestling is or how it isn’t real. I am talking directly to them.)

If you haven’t noticed already, I love wrestling. This love brings a share of comments from enlightened individuals who must gain about 100 IQ points when they turn on their computer. By the way, this is the best way to piss off any wrestling fan.

“Hey…did you know that ‘rasslin’ is fake? Ay-huck, it’s not real.”

By saying this statement, you prove two things:
1. You think I’m a blind retard.
2. You are an idiot who probably enjoys pointing out supposedly obvious things in order to feel somewhat more intelligent and dignified.

I’m not blind. I (and most other individuals over the age of 13) realize that wrestling is choreographed, scripted, and researched somewhat. A wrestler takes cues and says lines from a script. Duh. This has been common knowledge for a while now. You’re not cool for pointing it out to me. Just a redundant assclown.

For point #2, you’re an idiot because fake isn’t even the correct word to use. Fake is not a good word. Fake can be used to describe: breasts, certain women who act drunk at bars, concession speeches from politicians, and your intellect but not wrestling. Simply put, you get hurt wrestling. No, not rarely but often. It’s not easy to take a bump off the ring canvas or fall from the apron or go through an announce table. Even the most protected “spots” are extremely dangerous. A clothesline (when a wrestler runs over someone with their arm)? It actually hits. The person falls correctly but you do get hit by the arm.

Don’t believe me? Ok, go outside and take a big mat with you. Put it next to your car (especially if you have a SUV). Get on top of the car and jump on the mat, landing on your back. If you didn’t die or knock the wind out of you, kudos. Now imagine doing that constantly. 250 days a year. I’m sure, after a while, you’d start to re-think the whole “fake” thing. Perception is key. If you call wrestling “fake” because it is scripted and things are known ahead of time, then you should call every single freaking non “reality” show you watch fake as well. Be fair. Obviously, “Grey’s Anatomy”, besides from being boring, is “fake” too. Yet, people have the idiotic inclination to want to point out that wrestling, in particular, is fake. What people will do for self-empowerment.

Now, I didn’t mention the last reason why you’re an idiot for pointing this out. The fact is wrestling is somewhat popular. RAW, around longer than most of the TV shows you have ever watched, is the #1 rated ads-based regular cable show and has been for a while. PPVs do verrry well and the WWF essentially put the PPV market on its back. Wrestling is extremely popular internationally especially in the Middle and Far East. By saying wrestling is fake, you are insulting people at a global level and making yourself look like a douche so…get informed, realize that people of all walks of life just like to sit in front of the tv for about an hour or two and be entertained.  Not everyone will be kind about it like me

Seriously…the Draft coverage this year was tolerable.  Derrick Rose went first, Michael Beasley went second, and, from there, things became unpredictable and hilarious.  A few points:

• New York Knick fans are funny as hell.  I felt sorry for the kid drafted (until I realized the punk is a millionaire now and gets to move to New York) because he was recieved so nastily by the jaded New York fans.  Comical.
• For some reason, I get some sort of sick pleasure out of seeing potential draft picks devastated because they haven’t been drafted by pick 10 or 15. Come on now…you had to know that drafts are unpredictable and, if you are good enough, you will get picked. I know there is a big financial difference between 1st, 10th, and 20th but you’ll still be making more than most of the population doing occupations a lot harder than playing basketball so suck it up and enjoy the privilege of being there in the first place.
• Jeff Van Gundy is good even when he’s not cracking jokes.  Stephen A. Smith was tolerable as a interviewer and Doris Burke still is an up and coming ESPN talent.  The problem is…Stu Scott still sucks.  Well…nothing is perfect.

So basically the Supreme Court, in their ever-knowing wisdom of all things conservatively true, basically said that the 2nd Amendment protects the right of an individual to carry a gun.  Yay.  Here is a situation that could plausibly happen.

• I walk down the street and trip on a curb since I’m a clumsy bastard.
• I fall into someones lawn.
• This person comes out with his or her now offically legal right to carry a gun and shoots me.
• In court, the person argues that I was “trespassing” and he or she had the right to defend themselves and their property.
• They get off on self-defense.

Oh joy.  There is a logical difference between people having a right and people having the logical and mature responsibility to that right.  I can’t wait for the Court to realize this…especially with something that was freaking designed to kill.

What: WWE Raw

When: June 16th, 2008
Where: Salt Lake City
Why?: To make us believe that giving away a million dollars is worth the priceless torture of shitty feuds with little build, crappy wrestling, and staleness.

My thoughts on Raw:
-Easily the biggest pop I’ve seen for Cena in…ever…
-The HHH/Cena promo, while forced at times, was intense enough to convince the crowd that it’s worth cheering for their match at NOC. It seems repetitive since Cena has dominated the title since 06 and HHH can screw Creative over at anytime but this matchup hasn’t happened too much since Cena debuted. Interesting to see who wins a face on face even though Mr. Mcmahon-Helmsley seems to be hinting at a heel turn.
-HHH channeling the IWC mentioning how most Cena fans won’t be able to see him in the main event because it will be past their bed times
-Vince McMahon, in a recurring theme, destroys all momentum that RAW can build up by this “The Vince is Right” shit.
Match 1: Street Fight – John Cena vs Umaga. Eh. It was a good match and all but I really don’t like matches where there is no suspense. You figured Cena was going to win since Umaga has been jobbing since he was on his undefeated streak but they gave a decent effort and threw some neat spots in there. What can you expect the week before a Draft?
Summertime Beach Bikini Blow Out aka the parents in the crowd akwardly trying to be excited and explain to their kids and themselves why they agreed to spend money to tickets in the first place: Filler but good for the eyes. They all dance. Melina looks hot as hell. So does everyone else really sans Gillian Idol. Charlie Haas Mizain did well as a host and he didn’t say Hoo-rah so points for him. In the end, Maria won and everyone went home happy…until the next boring money segment.
-Good video package as usual from the WWE featuring the history of Jericho and Michaels.
-Yessssss@Duggan’s 2×4 having a tux. Best part of the money segments tonight.
Match 2: Jeff Hardy vs Carlito. Another decent match as you would expect and Carlito didn’t phone it in for once. Carlito still needs to go to Smackdown though.
-Chris Jericho aka Bret Hart blames the fans for making him do bad and draws decent heel heat until WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ric Flair! Yesss! He comes out, does a promo in 2 minutes that most wrestlers couldn’t pull out in 10 and draws Jericho to the back where he runs into his Lordship, Triple H.
-Ugh. Flair got punked out. Way to respect a Hall of Famer by getting him ejected, Vince.
Match 3: Cody Rhodes/Hardcorde Holly vs Cryme Tyme: Blah. The Million Dollar Kid, Ted DiBiase, comes out. Cryme Tyme, in backwards booking, gets distracted and Holly and Rhodes gets the pin. Ok.
-Lmfao. $16. Pwnt. She’ll probably get some sort of compensation for that
Match 4: Katie Lea and Paul Burchill vs Mickie James (yum) and Mr. Kennedy: Good match and great flow with all four wrestlers. A little herky-jerky because of the mixed tag rules but you can tell that both gender pairs would have good matches one on one. Btw, Katie Lea is smokin’ too and her backbreaker is pretty good.
-Wow. Alana sounds like she just won a million dollars. That’s good for her. Good to see someone mark for money, not for wrestling.
-Run down of the card so far at NOC. It’s ok even though I see nothing too thrilling. If Hornswaggle wins, I riot.
Match 5: Triple H vs Chris Jericho. Finally, the WWE seemingly is going to push Lance Cade. He just needs the right booking and he could get good heat. He’s got the talent. The match was decent but just set up the beat down at the end with Jericho getting his revenge with a swerve. I liked it. Jericho got over strong, Cena and HHH were preserved because of the cowardly heel behind attack, and Cade got an instant push. Good job WWE.
Overall…a good RAW if you completely don’t count the Million Dollar Mania.

I can’t stand it.  I really can’t.  I am playing a game or doing something memory-intensive and enjoying myself when, all of a sudden, fuckedupness occurs.  On my screen, there is a white box and then the display of a gm aka a group message aka Yahoo’s version of hell pops up on my screen.  I’m sure Yahoo had good intention by putting this in.  It’s a good way for me to let people know that I’m switching screen names or they are so insignificant that I’m deleting them off my friend’s list unless they make a last ditch effort to send me an awkward message subtly saying “I can’t stand being off your friend’s list. I want to feel important”.  These are the only good two uses of a group message that I can see.

Yaboo

Other than that, there is no point.  So, explain to me why I get 5-10 gms a day?  Almost all of the time, it’s a message that could be sent to 3-4 people who actually give a shit. Sending it to everyone on your list instantly brands you as an annoying attention whore and you’re probably happy this post is directed towards you in the first place.  Please. No one cares about you saying Hi or taking pictures or wondering why no one will talk to you.  Go outside.

So the great city of Chicago seems to want to get the 2016 Olympic nod from the IOC. Yay! I hope they get it. The city should get great revenue, exploding tourism, and a global spotlight those few days. However, if done right, not just Chicago can come out a winner that year.

Being a resident of a suburb of Milwaukee, Wisconsin most of my life, I have seen the up and down of a metropolis in the shadows of the great Chicago-land area. In many ways, Chicago is the New York of the Midwest: Large, intimidating skyline, and big lights. Milwaukee, on the other hand, has always been like the Philadelphia of the Midwest: In New York’s shadow, full of crime and other problems, and constantly battling for respect. Unfortunately, the past 5 years has seen a steep rise of homicide, robberies, gang violence, and general fear in Milwaukee. Perhaps this announcement can be a motivation for change.

Not only will the announcement mean an overall attempt by the region at large to “look better” in the next 9 years, the cost of living will probably rise. Chicago is already becoming an expensive place to live, mirroring New York. With the Olympics possibly coming and a proposed new stadium being built along with road construction and rising property value, some people may not be able to stay in Chicago and will look for a close alternative. This is where Milwaukee, a short hour and a half drive to the north, should step in. Not only can Miltown take advantage of the possible influx of residents by building more “reasonably-priced” apartments, but also not focus on building the condos that have been exploding in the area as of late. The apartments have to be attractive to middle-class families. There is so much unused factory space and open dirt mounds just waiting to be used. Also, there needs to be more of an emphasis on commercial growth. I’m sure companies will be flooding to Chicago in reaction to this possible decision, especially construction companies, and so on. Not all of these companies will be able to locate in the Chicago city limits. Some may need to come up north and take advantage of another metropolis close to Chicago.

Maybe I have wishful thinking but I seriously believe that other areas can also win with the announcement that Chicago might be hosting the 2016 Olympic Games. Living in the Milwaukee Metro area, I personally hope that Milwaukee will step up to the plate and became better off because of it.

I made an acrostic on my city of residence, Milwaukee Wisconsin

Midwest town, all turned around

Inside the walls, suffering and strife

Lake Michigan breeze, waving pine trees,

Wonderful to see for tourists, those three.

Against all odds, we culturally grow

Under the sheets, the cover is blown.

Killings, beatings, a rape, nothing new.

Everywhere you go, despair is frightful

Everyone you know, never will be right though.

I’m going to start going back into what I used to do as a kid and what I got away from over the past couple years: meditation.  I used to use meditation as a coping mechanism. It calmed me. Got me through my day. But ever since I went to college, I stopped doing it (and many other things) and went into the engineering mode. No sleep. Party. and I forgot about that method.  I want to get back into it because it really was a way that I got through a lot of my childhood and I made the mistake of thinking that adulthood would be different. Which it wasn’t.