My Thoughts On: The Divas Roster

The WWE Diva’s Championship is going to be crowned very soon and I felt like it’s a good opportunity to look through the female rosters of all 3 brands and see which ones deserve a run at a Diva or Women’s championship…ever.

RAW:

Mickie James: Well, she is champion right now and has been in the past. She’s hot. She has decent mat skills. She’s hot. She’s very popular with the crowd as she’s probably the most recognizable active female wrestler on the planet…plus she’s freaking hot. I’ve had a crush on Alexis Laree since she was doing crazy hardcore shit in the indies and that crush lasted all the way to the peak of the female mountain. STAY

Beth Phoenix: Her looks are underrated too. Sure, she has a chin sharp enough to slice cheese but her body is proportional and she’s really good looking outside of her wrestling gear. Plus, she’s the most talented women wrestler on RAW, which helps. STAY

Jillian Hall: The only way I’d ever like John Cena as a wrestler if he walked up to Jillian Hall while she’s singing and stuck her microphone up her ass. Her flatulence has better pitch. Anyways, she’s tolerable in the ring, has a few great moves for a female wrestler: cartwheel elbow in the turnbuckle, 450 splash, and knows how to work. sadly…she must STAY.

Melina: I love Hispanics. I love crazy ass Latinas who are flexible, who scream loud and will try to kick your ass on a moment’s notice. For that love alone, I want to say a kind couple words to the guy who dated her: “Fuck you, Johnny Nitro.” She’s good in the ring and has improved greatly since she debuted. She also is really good at the face/heel element and knows how to get a reaction from both. STAY.

Candice Michelle: Injury-prone is obvious when you’re about 91 pounds in Lake Michigan but this is my hometown girl. I can’t deny her desire to improve in the ring, stay in shape, and subject herself to that shitty ass dance music she comes out to. I know her taste can’t be that bad enough to pick it. STAY

Kelly Kelly: Blonds are overrated. With that said, I’d smash Kelly Kelly’s chicken legs right off. The only problem is she’s awkward in the ring and isn’t improving fast enough to really merit her place on the roster. GO AWAY on winning gold, STAY with walking

Katie Lea Burchill: She’s a newcomer and has good sex appeal as well as a nice little snarkiness about her. I’ve heard that she’s pretty good from the Indy circuits but the adjustment to a more constricted WWE-style of wrestling is hard. I think she’ll get less green after some development but right now, it’s sadly GO AWAY.

Layla El: She’s similar to Kelly Kelly in terms of wrestling ability and hotness. Her ass does pwn all though. With that said, her potential is way above Kelly’s for one reason: her heel tendencies. There is a certain mannerism that she has in the ring that is very heel-like in its nature. That’s unusual for such a new wrestler and it seems natural. That’s something I see. For right now, it’s GO AWAY on the title, but, in time, she may be able to.

SMACKDOWN

Michelle McCool: Meh. She’s unbelievably generic to me. She’s cute, yes. She’s a good wrestler and has incorporated MMA into her move-set. (Thanks, Mark) She just is meh. She doesn’t make me go wild when she comes on the screen like Melina and Mickie does. It’s because she’s completely overshadowed by her heel counterparts, who I will get to shortly. That’s too bad. She does deserve a chance at the Diva championship based on skill alone so STAY.

Nattie Neidhart: She’s hot. She’s from a wrestling family. She’s easily the best natural diva worker on Smackdown (She flows better than Victoria, even though she’s not quite as accomplished in the WWE style yet). She’s got a catchphrase, an evil laugh, a great promo, good charisma, and can carry. She needs a long title run. Now. STAY!!

Victoria: Victoria was never the “flashy” diva. She’s cute but not drop-dead gorgeous in the likes of Maria or Kelly Kelly. However, she is not only a better wrestler than all of the women in the WWE and most of the women on TNA, but she’s also better than many of the men currently wrestling in sports entertainment. Her attention to detail is scarily rich. If you listen to her during her match, she will pull out nicknames and shout insults that really let you know that she pays attention to the business. She’s also accomplished in the ring. She needs to go to RAW and fight for the Women’s championship. STAY!

Maria: The only thing going for Maria is her hotness. That’s about it. She’s just not that good in the ring. She’s simply there for the viewing pleasure of me and most of the other 18-34 male demographic. GO AWAY!

Maryse: GO AWAY!! You look good but you are awkward and shitty in the ring. Go back to France.

Cherry: My favorite female wrestler. She’s solid in the ring once she’s with someone she doesn’t have to carry (looking at you, French bitch). She’s got a likable energy about her. She’s not a prototypical Diva wrestler and I think that appeals to fans who want something different. She also plays the face in peril nearly perfectly. I honestly think that in time, she’d be a good underdog Diva’s champion. STAY!

Eve Torres: Stick to talking and shaking your butt. GO AWAY!!

ECW

Lena Yada: Who? Oh the Asian chick on ECW . Meh. She’s better off as an announcer. GO AWAY.

So, there you have it. I believe that 10 current Diva wrestlers have the ability to become champion in the foreseeable future and I think that’s pretty strong for a division that usually gets no feuds, random ass title shots and diva tag matches and silly promos. I think the WWE is finally caring about the division and it’s exciting.

Picture Gallery:

Maybe the French aren’t so bad…

All pictures copyrighted by their respective photographers and clients

Thoughts on: WWE Raw 6/16/08

What: WWE Raw

When: June 16th, 2008
Where: Salt Lake City
Why?: To make us believe that giving away a million dollars is worth the priceless torture of shitty feuds with little build, crappy wrestling, and staleness.

My thoughts on Raw:
-Easily the biggest pop I’ve seen for Cena in…ever…
-The HHH/Cena promo, while forced at times, was intense enough to convince the crowd that it’s worth cheering for their match at NOC. It seems repetitive since Cena has dominated the title since 06 and HHH can screw Creative over at anytime but this matchup hasn’t happened too much since Cena debuted. Interesting to see who wins a face on face even though Mr. Mcmahon-Helmsley seems to be hinting at a heel turn.
-HHH channeling the IWC mentioning how most Cena fans won’t be able to see him in the main event because it will be past their bed times
-Vince McMahon, in a recurring theme, destroys all momentum that RAW can build up by this “The Vince is Right” shit.
Match 1: Street Fight – John Cena vs Umaga. Eh. It was a good match and all but I really don’t like matches where there is no suspense. You figured Cena was going to win since Umaga has been jobbing since he was on his undefeated streak but they gave a decent effort and threw some neat spots in there. What can you expect the week before a Draft?
Summertime Beach Bikini Blow Out aka the parents in the crowd akwardly trying to be excited and explain to their kids and themselves why they agreed to spend money to tickets in the first place: Filler but good for the eyes. They all dance. Melina looks hot as hell. So does everyone else really sans Gillian Idol. Charlie Haas Mizain did well as a host and he didn’t say Hoo-rah so points for him. In the end, Maria won and everyone went home happy…until the next boring money segment.
-Good video package as usual from the WWE featuring the history of Jericho and Michaels.
-Yessssss@Duggan’s 2×4 having a tux. Best part of the money segments tonight.
Match 2: Jeff Hardy vs Carlito. Another decent match as you would expect and Carlito didn’t phone it in for once. Carlito still needs to go to Smackdown though.
-Chris Jericho aka Bret Hart blames the fans for making him do bad and draws decent heel heat until WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ric Flair! Yesss! He comes out, does a promo in 2 minutes that most wrestlers couldn’t pull out in 10 and draws Jericho to the back where he runs into his Lordship, Triple H.
-Ugh. Flair got punked out. Way to respect a Hall of Famer by getting him ejected, Vince.
Match 3: Cody Rhodes/Hardcorde Holly vs Cryme Tyme: Blah. The Million Dollar Kid, Ted DiBiase, comes out. Cryme Tyme, in backwards booking, gets distracted and Holly and Rhodes gets the pin. Ok.
-Lmfao. $16. Pwnt. She’ll probably get some sort of compensation for that
Match 4: Katie Lea and Paul Burchill vs Mickie James (yum) and Mr. Kennedy: Good match and great flow with all four wrestlers. A little herky-jerky because of the mixed tag rules but you can tell that both gender pairs would have good matches one on one. Btw, Katie Lea is smokin’ too and her backbreaker is pretty good.
-Wow. Alana sounds like she just won a million dollars. That’s good for her. Good to see someone mark for money, not for wrestling.
-Run down of the card so far at NOC. It’s ok even though I see nothing too thrilling. If Hornswaggle wins, I riot.
Match 5: Triple H vs Chris Jericho. Finally, the WWE seemingly is going to push Lance Cade. He just needs the right booking and he could get good heat. He’s got the talent. The match was decent but just set up the beat down at the end with Jericho getting his revenge with a swerve. I liked it. Jericho got over strong, Cena and HHH were preserved because of the cowardly heel behind attack, and Cade got an instant push. Good job WWE.
Overall…a good RAW if you completely don’t count the Million Dollar Mania.